New Books

New Books

Check out my two books.

My first novel: "I just want to be loved".

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/607598


My autobiography: "Life is...but a memory".  

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/63102

You are what you eat

 "You are what you eat"

I’m sitting watching T.V. and all the healthy shows

They’re advertising treadmills, bikes and on and on it goes

I watch those guys do sit ups, push ups they look fab

They’re saying that it helps you it helps produce good abs

I head out to the kitchen to grab a snack or two

There’s not much in the cupboard I wonder what I’ll do

The food supply is getting low I’ll have to get some more

I’d better get in to the car and head off to the store

I grab a cart and start my shopping I grab some chips and pop

Throw in a couple of candy bars now this is the way to shop

A couple of steaks here and there maybe some burgers too

 I’ll grab a tub of ice cream I think that this will do

                                                                                            

I head over to the check-out and as I’m standing there in line

I look at some health magazines just to pass the time

I read a little article of choices that we make

It talks of all the fat we eat and our calorie intake

They talk about the things we buy like candy, pop, and chips

They say it does no good at all as it all goes to our hips

I look down at my shopping cart to see the things I’ve bought

I head back out the check-out to get veggies I forgot               

I grab some grapes and oranges some apples and lots more fruit

Potatoes, carrots, kale and spinach, celery, leek to make a soup

I decide to return my chips and pop as I’m heading down the aisle

I grab my stuff and put it back I won’t need it for a while

I head back to the check-out and I’m smiling as I go

I know that I’ll be eating healthy and I know that it will show

As I’m standing with my cart and I’m waiting there in line

I look down at this person’s cart which is looking really fine

I notice that they have some pop, some candy, chips that’s true

I look down at my own cart ‘cause I don’t know what to do

I head back out the check-out line and go straight back to the chips

A couple of bags, some cans of pop really shouldn’t affect my hips

As I’m going past the veggie section I unload all I got

I thought I took too much anyway I really had a lot

I go back to the check-out where I stand again in line

I’m on my way to a grand old feast everything will be just fine

As I’m standing with my cart in hand I glare at this person’s cart

They have veggies, fruit and healthy stuff my mind is torn apart

I head back out the check-out as I leave my cart behind

I’ve had enough of shopping as I’m going out my mind

I said who cares; I don’t need the stuff as I run right out the store

I find the nearest restaurant eat burgers, fries and pop galore

Ah! This is so much better than shopping any day

I’ll eat until my heart’s content so I don’t fade away

They can keep their diets and healthy stuff to get abs I’m just not keen

Give me another pop and fries and give me a large poutine

I may be fat and beefy and I may not look too good

But at least I enjoy my life once more ‘cause I really enjoy my food

Mmmmmmm     Mmmmmmm

Written by Chris Turner

October 24, 2013

                                                                             

                                                                               

An Ode to my spouse….if only I were a Colour T.V.

An Ode to my spouse….if only I were a Colour T.V.

First of all, you would always turn me on, first thing in the morning, during the day and late at night.

You would never turn me off.

Depending on what buttons you pressed, you could make me, increase or decrease my volume.

You would always be interested in me, no matter what was on.

You would always see me as interesting and colourful.

You could change me anytime you wanted, depending on what you wanted to see.

In your eyes, I would have lots of variety and flair; you would have lots of me to choose from.

Whether I was big or small, I would give you lots of pleasure.

You would idolize and adore me.

I would be your companion for many hours.

Anytime, day or night, you would want to be with me.

Nothing would be able to take you away from me.

No distractions could stop you looking at me.

I would captivate your heart and soul.

You would sit down and have snacks with me.

You would never take your eyes off of me.

No matter if anyone else was talking to you, your eyes would still be fixed on me.

You would instantly see various parts of me at the touch of your hands.

By pressing the right buttons, you would just fall in love with me.

You would be glaring at me all night never taking your eyes off me for a second.

Even if I didn’t appear to be that interesting, you would be so attracted to me.

You would stay up until midnight or one in the morning, just knowing that you were having fun.

At the click of a button, you would record me for hours and hours.

There is a “Remote” chance; we could even have a relationship.

If only I were a Colour T.V.

Written by Chris Turner

February 2007