Life has no remote

Life has no remote

get up and change it yourself

Chris Turner

March 15, 2016

The day of the Funeral

Chapter 4

The day of the Funeral

 (An excerpt from my novel ; "I just want to be loved")

Upon their arrival at the orphanage, they recognized that were some other children from their school too. As some of their parents had been involved in the accident and were also injured in the explosion. The unfortunate thing for the Maxwell children was, that both their parents worked at the factory and unfortunately, both were killed. As the week progressed, funeral arrangements were being made for those who had died. It was going to be a sad week in the city of Glasgow.

During the week prior to the funeral, the children had been contacted as to any church affiliation that their parents may have had. The social work department tried very hard to contact relatives of the Maxwell family. Apparently, there were no next of kin in the Glasgow area at all. Social workers tried friends and neighbours of the Maxwell family, but their efforts were to no avail. It was found, that the Maxwell family had regularly attended a small Nazarene church in the area. The pastor was acquainted with the Maxwell family and knew them very well, and agreed to conduct the funeral.

It was the day of the funeral and because of the extent of the injuries to the children’s mum, and dad and for the sake of not enduring the children to a more traumatic event, it was decided that the coffins should remain closed and no viewing would be allowed. On the day of the funeral, the coffins were draped with beautiful flowers and the song “Abide with Me” was playing softly in the background. There were many friends in attendance and many people also from within the community. People who didn’t even know the Maxwell’s were there to offer their support for the children. As the music softly played, the children were led to their seats at the front of the church.

 As soon as the children saw the coffins Sheila ran over to the coffins and shouted, “Mummy, daddy, please come back, please don’t go away.” As she knelt at the coffins, Sheila had one of her dolls with her. She reached up to her mum’s coffin and placed it on top, “This doll is for you mummy, remember I kept washing and brushing it’s hair in the mornings, and you said it was a silly doll. Well, I knew it was going to be your birthday soon and I wanted to give it to you as a birthday gift. That’s why I kept it clean and brushed it’s hair every day, I will give it to you now mummy and you can celebrate your birthday in heaven. This will keep you company so you don’t feel lonely.” Henry and Jimmy went over and put their arms around her. Everyone attending the service left them alone. The children were kneeling at the coffins and firmly holding each other and crying. There wasn’t a dry eye in the church. Everyone in the church was crying with the children including the pastor.

They let the children have their time of mourning for about five minutes. No one was in a rush. They wanted this to be the children’s day, a day where they could remember their mum and dad. As they were kneeling together, the pastor’s wife went forward and put her arms around them. As she was kneeling with them, she said a little prayer. More people moved forward and joined in the prayer. It was like no other funeral that anyone had ever attended. The pastor’s wife, along with some other women of the church, helped the children to their feet and escorted them to their seats. As they sat sobbing, the pastor started the service, stretching his hands out towards the children, he said, “Jesus loves you this I know for the Bible tells me so, little ones to him belong they are weak, but He is strong.” As he continued, he spoke of the Maxwell’s and their lives as parents. Sobs could be heard throughout the church. It was the most moving funeral service that anyone had ever experienced.

The service was over and it was now time for the interment.  The children were shaking and nervous, but were led into a car where they would be taken to the cemetery. Everyone who was at the church came to the cemetery. The cemetery was just packed with people. The coffins were lowered one by one. The dad’s coffin was lowered first and the mum’s coffin was placed on top, as was the custom in Glasgow. As the coffins were being lowered, the children were crying and screaming. “No mummy, no daddy, please don’t go, please don’t leave me.” The children had to be restrained from going too close to the grave just in case they fell in. They were quite hysterical. Everyone around the grave was crying. It was so sad listening to the pleas of the children for their mum and dad. It was now time to leave. The church had arranged to hold a reception of tea and scones for those who had attended the funeral. The children were seated with the pastor and his wife, and during this time people were coming up to the children offering their condolences and sympathy. Everyone had a kind word of encouragement for all the children. As would be expected, there were lots of hugs, kisses and tears.

Written by Chris Turner

(Taken from the novel: "I just want to be loved')

Available as an e-book from  https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/607598

 I would appreciate your comments below.

Mum and Dad are not coming home

Chapter 3

Mum and Dad are not coming home

(An excerpt from my novel ; "I just want to be loved") 

Later in the day, when school was out, Henry, Jimmy and Sheila were excited that school was finished for the day. On the way home, they were playing and having lots of fun and getting into mischief just as most young children do. When the children arrived home, everything was the same as always, their mum and dad were still at work and wouldn’t be home until later. Normally, their parents would get home about dinner time. The evening before, their mum would always prep dinner this way, all she had to do was heat it up in the oven when she arrived home. “Mum and dad are late tonight,” Henry, said, “I wonder where they could be?”  Asked Sheila, Jimmy replied, “Don’t worry sis, they probably stopped off at the store on the way home.” Another hour went by and Sheila said, “I’m hungry,” “Don’t worry sis, I’ll make you a sandwich,” Henry said, “This should do you until mum and dad arrive home.” An hour later and there was still no sign of them, anxiously, Henry kept looking out of the window, but there was still no sign of them. Henry made some more sandwiches for himself, Sheila and Jimmy, as they were all feeling quite hungry. After they had all eaten their sandwiches. Henry had an idea. “I know!” “Let’s play some computer games on the T.V.” Jimmy and Sheila thought this was a great idea. They were laughing and having so much fun.

Suddenly the doorbell rang, in unison they all shouted. “It’s mum and dad,” and in all the excitement, they all ran to the door together pushing and shoving each other out of the way to see who could get to the front door first. When they opened the front door, they were startled to see two police officers standing there. Instantly, they all moved back a few steps wondering what was wrong. Standing at the door was one policeman and one policewoman. The children were very scared. They had never seen police officers come to their house before. The policeman said, “Are you the Maxwell children?” Hesitantly and with a shaky voice Henry said, “Yes sir,” “Can we come in son, we would like to speak with you,” Henry said, “But my mum and dad are not home yet.” The policewoman spoke for the first time, “You see children, we would actually like to speak to you if that is okay. Could we please come in and speak with you for a while?” The police officers were trying to be as tactful as they knew how. “Sure,” Henry said, so the children escorted the two police officers into the living room. As they all sat down, the policewoman said, “Could you please tell me all your names? One by one the children told the officers their names. “Thank you children, you see. We are here about your mum and dad,” Henry said, “But, our mum and dad are not home from work yet.” “Yes, and we know Henry, that’s why we’re here.”

In a slow, solemn, but nervous voice, the policewoman continued, “You see children, your mum and dad were involved in an accident at work today, that is, in the factory where they worked. The factory had a very large explosion and I’m sorry to tell you the news children, but your mum and dad won’t be coming home. I’m afraid they were both killed in the explosion.” Henry, Jimmy, and Sheila all started screaming and crying at the same time. The police officers had a very difficult time consoling and comforting them. The police officers knew, that because of the situation, they should have had a social worker present during their visit, but because of the workload, there was no-one available to team with them to the house. Most of the social workers were at other homes breaking the news to other families involved in the accident. The policeman said, “I think we should phone social services to see if someone is available yet.” The policewoman agreed and phoned social services. She told them that they needed help right away to handle the children, as they were hysterical and crying uncontrollably. Social services assured them that someone would be there right away.

After being told the news by the police officers, Henry ran to his bedroom with Jimmy and Sheila close behind. The police officers could hear them all crying, it was such sad news to break to the children. The policewoman went up to their bedroom to see if she could console them, but to no avail. They cried even more, shouting. “Mummy, daddy, where are you?”

 About an hour later a woman from social services arrived. She said, “I’m so sorry I couldn’t get here sooner, but we’ve been so busy since the accident, so many families and relatives have been affected by this.” As she entered in through the front door, she could hear the children crying from the bedroom upstairs. As she looked at the officers, tears welled up in her eyes, she said, “It’s been so hard for everyone, even for us as social workers, we have been crying and comforting other families all evening. It’s so difficult not to get caught up in the emotions of the families we have visited. We are supposed to be strong, but sometimes we break down too, it’s not easy you know.” “We know,” the policewoman replied. She could see that the social worker was distraught and that she had been through a difficult evening already. The policewoman continued, “Nevertheless, we have to all get through this and be strong for the children, even if we do have to cry with them, they need us so much right now. Their mum and dad are gone and right now they have no-one. Let’s see what we can do to help them, let’s just take one day at a time.” Then the policewoman and social worker both hugged each other, as confirmation that they would all get through this together for the benefit of the children.

The social worker and police officers went up to the children’s bedroom and gingerly entered the room, all the children were sitting on the bed cuddling each other. The social worker spoke and told the children her name, she said, “I’m here to try and help you, but first of all children, I need to know your names. So, if you could please tell me your names that would be great.” They quietened down a little and sobbingly, they each told her their names. “Wow! What nice names your mum and dad gave you. We know that this is a very sad time for you, but you see, because you are so young, you are not able to stay in this house by yourself, it would be too dangerous so we have to find you some other place to live.” The social worker asked the children, “Do you have any relatives close by?” Henry said, “We don’t have any relatives in Glasgow, I think they are living in different countries, but I don’t know where.” “That’s fine Henry, we can find out where they are staying.” said the social worker, “In the meantime though, we’ll have to find you a temporary place to stay, there is a nice children’s home in Glasgow called an orphanage, they can let you stay there temporarily until we locate some of your relatives. You’ll like it there, they are very nice people, and there are lots of other nice children there too.” The social worker was trying to be as tactful as she knew how without becoming too emotional with the children. The social worker phoned the orphanage and made the necessary arrangements. The social worker then asked the children. “Do you have any little bags in which to pack some clothes? You’ll need clothes for a few days, along with toothpaste and some soap. If you want to bring some pictures with you and a couple of books or comics, that’s okay. Don’t worry about your school stuff though. You won’t need them for a couple of weeks. I’ll contact your school and let them know that you won’t be there for a little while. I’m sure you can catch up with your studies when you return to school. I’ll go downstairs now with the police officers and whenever you have your things ready, come downstairs and I’ll drive you to the orphanage.”

 As soon as the social worker and police officers left the room, the children all started crying again. The policewoman went to go back in to the bedroom, but the social worker said, “No, just leave them, let them have their time together, they’ll come down when they’re ready.” When the social worker and police officers sat in the living room, they talked about the events of the day. The social worker said, “You know, this part of the job has been very difficult, but the worst has yet to come. We have all the funerals to arrange yet, we don’t know if the children’s parents had life insurance or funeral coverage and to go through all the parents personal papers would be very time consuming and the chances of the children knowing that kind of information is slim. It looks like the city will pay for the funerals, then when we get the necessary documents that the deceased may have, the city will be reimbursed by the insurance companies. There’s no other way to do it. As hard as this may sound, we have to try and have some closure regarding this event. The children have to try and move on with their lives.” The police officers nodded in agreement.

The children eventually came downstairs. They were all holding each other so tight, tremendously scared of being separated from each other. Their faces looked so withdrawn. You could see the fear and anxiousness in their eyes. There was such a sense of nervousness, as if they had all just had a bad dream. Reluctantly, the Maxwell children left their home with the social worker, “Don’t worry children,” the social worker said, “You will be coming back to your home soon. We have to come back and sort out all your personal belongings.”

Written by Chris Turner

(Taken from the novel: "I just want to be loved')

Available as an e-book from  https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/607598

 I would appreciate your comments below.

"I'm praying to the ceiling"

"I'm praying to the ceiling"

I woke up at 5:30 this morning. I was lying in bed praying for about two hours, hoping, that God would somehow hear me. As I looked up to the ceiling, there it was, silence, yes, not a sound. Some things just don't change, in my desperation I pray to God, but, there's nothing, no reply, no sound, absolutely nothing.

So, where are you God when I need you most. Are you on a heavenly vacation, at the other end of the universe sorting out some more planets or stars that we don't really need? Maybe you're just like some friends that we write to, they just can't be bothered responding. Is this the way you feel sometimes God? Do you just get to the point where you are just not interested in our needs anymore?

If you are up there God, then you know exactly how I feel, or do you? Sure, Jesus came to earth as a human, or at least born as a human. They say that Jesus understands what we're going through, but does he? Did Jesus ever experience having no money, did he ever have to feed his children, and did he ever have to pay rent, buy groceries or pay bills?

The bible always tells me to have faith, how can I do this when I'm in dire straits and have no answer to my problems? How can I continue to have faith, when I pray every day for months, years and receive no answer? Oh I know, of course, why I didn't think of this. There's something wrong with my life, there's something that I'm doing that I shouldn't be doing, right. Or, maybe I just don't have the correct formula for reaching you.

If by any chance you're reading this blog God, let me tell you what I did this morning. You're not going to believe it, yes Lord, even you won't believe it. I prayed to the ceiling, yes that's right, I prayed to the ceiling. Do you know what response I got, nothing, the ceiling didn't hear my prayer either. In fact, neither did the walls. Not really much different than when I pray to you Lord, I just get no answer.

So, why do I pray? I remember reading this scripture that tells us not to make or worship idols.

 Psalm 115:4-8 ESV

"Their idols are silver and gold, the work of human hands. They have mouths, but do not speak; eyes, but do not see. They have ears, but do not hear; noses, but do not smell. They have hands, but do not feel; feet, but do not walk; and they do not make a sound in their throat. Those who make them become like them; so do all who trust in them."

This scripture tells us that idols can't speak, so why worship them. Yet, I call out to you God and you don't speak, you don't make a sound either. You know that I call on you all the time but receive no answer, why?

Your word also tells us:  New Living Translation

Isaiah 40:31

"But those who trust in the LORD will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint."

Yet right now, I feel so spiritually inadequate, depressed, frustrated, emotionally distraught, physically tired and mentally drained. 

I have always just asked you one question, where are you in my time of need? Why so silent?

I know that you are the potter and I am the clay. I always like to add to that, and I personally have no say. I know that you can just make me drop dead any time you want, roll me up into a little ball, take me out into the universe and through me into some big black hole, just toss me into oblivion and never be heard of again, it will be as though I didn't exist. I know that you could do this after reading my blog.

I'm sure there are many people like me today God, who are frustrated, crying out and seeking your help. So here we go Lord, for all the people out there who need help, this is my petition on behalf of them, so please, do something to help them, do something to help me. 

Why are we always crying out to a silent God? Why do we have to beg like dogs? Why do we have to whine to get your attention?  Why, why, why, are you so silent?

This next thing I'm going to say God I've said to you before. If my children were to ask me for something and I just ignored them, like I didn't even acknowledge their request, I walked away and ignored them as if they had never spoken to me. Then they continued and were persistent and kept asking me to answer them, but I just keep walking about silent, always ignoring them. Then they get down on their knees and cried out and said, "Dad, please help me, please answer me." But, I just keep ignoring them. People would think I was absolutely rude, not even acknowledging that they were even there. 

This is the way I feel with you God, I feel that you ignore me and don't even acknowledge that I'm here. Yet, I'm persistent, I pray for hours, I write songs about you, but it seems you are so hard to please. I help others in need all the time, I put others before me, and whenever I see a need, I help.

What you are doing to me God, I could never do to my children or ever treat them this way, whenever they ask me something I give them an answer, whenever they speak I respond, when they need help I help them, when they're hurting I console them.

Most Christians will say, but God does speak, he speaks through his word. Like most other believers, I now have to try and interpret what the bible is saying, or if this scripture is actually speaking to me.

Why so silent God? Sorry, wrong question, as I know you're not going to answer.

Written by Chris Turner

March 10, 2016

I would appreciate your comments below.

Ouch! He Threw the Hammer

Ouch! He Threw the Hammer

 (I am 7 yrs old in this picture)

I was now two years old and always playing in the backyard, one day while  playing in the backyard, I kept taunting my older brother George saying: “na na, na na na", sticking out my tongue and making fun of him, my brother George didn’t like to be teased. 

George was the toughest of all the brothers, he always liked to fight, but I didn’t like to. I wouldn’t listen to what George was saying, I kept teasing and yelling at him, my brother George said, "you had better shut up or else", it didn’t make no difference to me.

“Na na, na na na”, all of a sudden George had a hammer in his hand that he found lying in the yard, he said to me, “if you don’t shut up, I’ll throw this hammer at you” of course, I didn’t believe he would throw the hammer, you know, all talk and no action, I still kept teasing him, then all of a sudden, he threw the hammer at me and it crashed against my leg, ouch!

 I started to scream and my mum came rushing out of the house to see what had happened, George explained, that I was calling him names and he threw the hammer at me, according to my mum, this wasn’t a justified excuse. My mum was furious with George, my mum immediately called an ambulance and I was taken to the Luton Dunstable hospital where I had to have my leg plastered, the hammer had broken my leg.

Written by Chris Turner

(Taken from my autobiography: "Life is...but a memory") 

My autobiography is available as an e-book at the following link.

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/63102

 I would appreciate your comments below.