Facing the burden alone

Facing the burden alone

I talked to my son just the other day

I told him of the bills that I had to pay

I said, could you help right now, I'm feeling kind of broke

A resounding "No" came from him were the only words that he spoke

He said I'm not giving you anything it is not my job

The money that I make is for me when I shop

Why should I give you money, after all, it's your, responsibility?

I couldn't believe what I heard and that he, said this to me

I said when I pay the rent you enjoy the home we have

You've been living in our home ever since you were a lad

Electricity, water, and heat, it don't come cheap

It's only fair that you help and contribute, to go toward your keep

I said twenty-five percent is not a lot to ask

When we put up the gazebo in the sun you will bask

You enjoy all the things we supply as you can see

Internet, cable, telephone, a comfy couch to watch T.V.

As the months went along he disregarded all I said

He would come home from work eat chips and pop then go to bed

Spend lots of money on groceries so that he, can eat and be fed

Looks like we'll struggle once again for today and the days that lie ahead

I said for seventeen years we've kept you every day

Never have we ever asked for anything for you to pay

Celebrations at Christmas, birthdays in between we gave a few

Now we're struggling, things are tough and we need, some help from you

Disregarding all I've said ignoring what we need

He'll sit down and eat dinner ignoring all our pleas

I can see that the struggle, that I face, I'm going it on my own

Can't do more, at least I tried, I guess I face, this burden all alone

Written by Chris Turner

May 18, 2017

Everybody Loves a Hypocrite

I go to church on Sunday raise my hands, sing hallelujah, and praise the Lord

I listen to the message shout Amen as the pastor reads God's word

He says there is sin within our hearts and cleansing is what we really need

Then he talks of the Saviour who can make it right thank you Jesus is what I plead

The pastor makes a plea to those, who have some hidden sin

Planted deep within their hearts, the congregation feel the pain within

To help them make a brand new start I look around as they raise their hands

I shake my head in disbelief, I can't believe, I just don't understand

All those sinners heading to the front as they kneel at the pulpit for their sin

I am glad it is them and not me I could barely take it in

Their hearts full of guilt they confess that they were to blame

They raise their hands up to God and they ask Him to remove their shame

As the service is over and I walk to the foyer with my friends

I say thank you Jesus, praise the Lord, and are you glad that we are not like them

As we all drive home a lovely day still early in the morn

As I enter the house I head downstairs to watch a little porn

As I head out in the evening meet some friends from the LGBT group that I'm in

We only see it as a lifestyle nothing wrong we don't see it as a sin

I shake hands with the pastor who was preaching earlier that day

No one knows too much about him, but I always knew that he was gay

The church is free and easy, liberal, in their thoughts and their minds

Fornication is okay just as long as you're the loving kind

The church will never preach against it, 'cause that, is what they all do

If the pastor preached a sermon of this kind he would empty all the pews

Everyone who goes to church has a problem deep within their heart

We have sin deep in our soul; we cannot see just how we are

It doesn't matter what we hear it is hard for us to admit

I live a lie every week and on Sunday I'm just a hypocrite

Hallelujah, Praise the Lord, I shout Amen, I'm just a hypocrite.

Written by Chris Turner

May 17, 2017

Schizophrenia

Schizophrenia

Schizophrenia has taken over my life, delusions in my mind I cannot hide

Paranoia makes me slam into a wall, I can't go on

Depressed and unstable I've come too far, brain cannot function I am scarred

I hear the voices moving inside my head, I can't go on

They opened me to see what's going on, an institution where I became withdrawn

Disorder in my own state of mind, I can't go on

People in the room where I would sit, I was going to lift a chair and start to hit

Everyone didn't like the way I looked, I can't go on

Disorganized I'm always in a mess, feel unable to handle all the stress

The simple things in life just seem so hard, I can't go on

No one will miss me one day when I'm gone. 

Written by Chris Turner

May 16, 2017

I cry on the inside

I cry on the inside

Just like you take a can of pop and you shake it all about and it builds up

The pressures so extreme once released it will just explode

That's the way I feel inside with my head it feels like TNT

One day it will ignite and I know it will be the end of me

I stutter and I stammer and I see that it is all no use

No one seems to care as I explain of all of the abuse

My heart is so hard it's been transformed into a heart of stone

I sit here in tears in the dark feeling lost I'm all alone

Chorus

Yes, I cry on the inside so that no one can see all my tears

I cry on the inside so that no one can see all my fears

Yes, I cry on the inside my problems they are magnified

I cry on the inside and I know I want to run and hide

Yes, I cry on the inside so that no one can see all my tears

 I cry on the inside it's been tormenting me for many years

Yes, I cry on the inside and I know that I have really tried

 I cry on the inside and I know that I am petrified

 

I sit in my room with my hands cradled on my head

My mind in turmoil tries to sleep and I wish that I was dead

No one understands how I think so I guess I am to blame

When I close my eyes at night in my tears I try to hide my shame

I stare at the wall and try to talk but get no reply

My tears all dried up feeling lost unable now to cry

A recluse as I tremble always shaking I am feeling cold

Scared of my thoughts in my soul now I know I've lost control

Chorus

Yes, I cry on the inside so that no one can see all my tears

I cry on the inside so that no one can see all my fears

Yes, I cry on the inside my problems they are magnified

I cry on the inside and I know I want to run and hide

Yes, I cry on the inside so that no one can see all my tears

 I cry on the inside it's been tormenting me for many years

Yes, I cry on the inside and I know that I have really tried

 I cry on the inside and I know that I am petrified

Written by Chris Turner

May 15, 2017

Cross Wall Mural

Cross Wall Mural

"Cross" wall mural available.

Depicts the Christmas and Easter story in one.

The star over Bethlehem and the Angel proclaiming the good news to the Shepherds. The cross of course symbolizing the Easter story.

I can paint this on to your church wall for you

Ideal for a foyer/entryway/office/ prayer room etc;

 This design is not available anywhere.

Current size is 6' X 4'

Price for this size $360

Price is approximate $60 per vertical foot.

Colour black is only for demonstration. You can choose whichever colour you like. 

An additional charge of $20 for paint.

Other mural signs available.

Cross can be made larger to scale

Willing to travel to any city for an additional traveling fee.

The fragrance of your presence.

The fragrance of your presence.

 Let me feel the fragrance of your presence.

Let me feel the fragrance of your love.

Let me feel your arms wrapped around me.

Let me feel your Glory from above.

Let me feel your Spirit flowing through me.

Let me feel your Love deep and wide.

Let me feel the fragrance of your presence.

Let me feel you standing by my side.

Written by Chris Turner

May 6, 2017.

Amazing Grace Cross.

Unique Amazing Grace Cross.
Hand scrolled

20"X14" Pine $85

"Terrified"

"Terrified"

I'm terrified of myself I was always to blame

Deep down in my soul made to feel so much shame

Sometimes I am sinking into a deep, deep dark hole

It's a rocky road ahead not feeling very close to God

Feeling lonely I'd say most times with things going through my mind

Feeling empty on the inside as I'm figuring out life

Sometimes I won't admit it when I'm not in control

Like a whirlwind, blowing, spinning as it penetrates my soul

Sometimes I look for God I keep thinking He don't care

It's just another fleeting moment as I'm pulling out my hair

It's the words that we say as we're passing through this life

They cut deep into your heart just sharp as a knife

Sometimes it leaves a wound and sometimes it leaves a scar

Swirling around inside your mind telling us who we are

Just like poison in our veins we scream, we scream and we cry

It is then that it kills us as we give up and die

Written by Chris Turner

October 30th, 2015